A-to-Z Challenge: B is for Bio

BiohazardWelcome to day two of the A-to-Z Blog challenge.

B-Day. Biography.

You might notice there’s no ABOUT tab on my still wet website.

Talking about myself. Not my thing.

Recently, I was tasked with writing a brief bio. I won’t get into why because that feels so autobiographic. I did try. I spackled words onto the screen, smeared them around, scraped them off. I took a stab at a humorous anti-bio, like you sometimes read: “NYT best-selling author … when hell has snowplows.”

I mined bios on social media, looking for ideas. I could mention my spouse, my pets, my pet causes. My ticker-tape resume of non-writing jobs. I could state what I eat, drink, cook, or grow, but there are levels to be specified. Categories of degree.

Enthusiast. Expert. Connoisseur

Explorer. Seeker. Wannabe.

Lover. Addict. Obsessor.

Can we forevermore take as default that every Twitter subscriber is a geek and/or a nerd? If you are charismatic, highly confident, and comfortably average in intelligence, you are 1 in 330,000,000 and I think that’s well worth mentioning. Likewise, if you’re a nitwit.

Some bio-writers are not keen on even the slightest risk they might be stigmatized as existing in the middle of the bell curve. They decorate their bios with scholastic acronyms. Kite tail credentials. And why not? If you paid for it, put it out there! I like when IQ’s are offered. I wouldn’t dare do this, because I might meet you one day. I suppose I could Jenga-extract the dusty shoebox off my high closet shelf and post my cache of report cards from St. Martin’s Elementary. Proof I once got an A.

Personal quirks are an important component of any social media profile, but they are offered strictly as clues: Myer-Briggs type. Astrological sign. Major Arcana Card. Figure me out, People of Earth.

Familial identities are popular, especially when quantified. Father of 4. Grandmother of 10. Transportation preferences. These seem to matter. Uber, Lyft or yellow cab. Softtail, hardtail, ‘69 Camaro. Bicycle. Skateboard. Magic carpet ride.

The Fool
The Fool

I see the pattern here. My pattern, that is. I’m procrastinating again. Been at this a full hour and no closer to producing a bio. I did jot down my favorite brand of pen but what does that reveal about me?

I’m a story teller. Truth twister. Hyperbole enthusiast.

Skilled, I’ve been told. Committed, solidly.

If you write fiction then you know I’m bonkers to endure the anguish this career inflicts.

I’m here, though, I’m getting it done.

That’s all this Fool has to say, apart from, I’d rather get to know you!

Tomorrow is C-Day. Stay tuned for one my cheesier, poorly executed, Photoshop Procrastinations. And, to make up for today’s post, minimal text.

 

Curious about the images on this page?

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “A-to-Z Challenge: B is for Bio

  1. Ah, author bios. Yes. I hate those, too. And I am absolutely terrible at writing them. “Melanie Atherton Allen lives with a man and a pet in a place. The specifics are actually none of your business. Not that she is being unfriendly. It’s just that she assumes that either you don’t care or are some sort of weirdo. In a totally non-judgmental way. Also, she has goldfish.” GAH!

  2. Talking about ourselves is such a brutal task to be faced with. While I like your take on it, somehow I find myself knowing a bit about you through it, it’s certainly a challenge we all need to handle and find bliss in.

    Thanks for writing and reading,

    Sarah Butland
    author of Blood Day, Brain Tales and Being Grateful, Being Thankful

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